Sun and Moon

Perched atop her bike, riding through the back roads, a young aspiring photographer noticed the distant look that captured the distant moon. 

Alone, she sat. 

"Moon," she yelled, "why does my heart feel like this? I don't understand." 

Moon peered down at her. 

Crisscross-applesauce, she sat it the perfectly cut, slightly wet grass. 

Still Moon looked at her.  

"Moon! Stop looking at me, and help me. Help me understand!" 

Moon said nothing. 

"My heart aches Moon. I miss him. I miss the way things were when he was around. The distance is getting to me and I just can't handle it anymore. He is so far away. He changed me, Moon. He tore down all the walls that once built themselves inside my heart. He tore down what no one else could. I need him. My heart aches for him. Moon, I think I love him, but the distance makes it impossible."

Moon gently raised his voice

 "Young one, its hard. Each night I chase my one and only love, Sun. I glide through the sky so, we can spend those few minutes spread in different corners the sky, together. She sits miles and miles away. I travel around the world, anxiously awaiting the moment when the light she generously gives to the world, can be seen by my eyes."

"But Moon, how do you make it through the day, doesn't your heart long to see Sun?" the girl quietly said.

"Of course, everyday and every night my heart desires to share the sky with Sun. When I think I can no longer endure to the moment when I see her, I think. I think of all the beautiful things she gets to see. Even though she is on the other side of the world, I know that eventually, we will be together again. Sometimes I wait weeks, even months to see her, but I always see her."

 "Moon, I think I understand. When I miss my love, and my heart aches to be near him, if I just think of all the things he is learning and getting to experiance, it will pass the days away, and make the sting of being away less painful. I just have to remember that because of the love we share, we will always see each other." 

Moon smiled down.

So Close Yet, So Far Away

Eighteen Miles.

That's all.

We were eighteen miles away from each other.

I longed for the gentle touch of your hand. 

The sweet smile you greet me with was fresh in my memory.

On the floor laughing. Crying our eyes out. Serious talks. Not so serious talks. 

Beautiful memories. 

Your face was eighteen miles away. Eighteen short miles!

Why? 

I need you. 

We were so close but, so far away.

1.2 months. 39 days. 936 hours. 3369600 seconds.

The day I have been waiting for since you left. 

It's been exactly one month today. 

Lets be honest, it's been the longest month of my life. 

Everyday I dream of seeing you again for the first time. I cant wait.

It's slowly killing me inside. 

I miss you so much, it's really sad. 

How is it even possible to feel like this? I don't understand. 

All I know is that when I see you again, everything is going to be okay. 

The time is so short. 

You are so close,

but still 936 hours away.

Goodbyes, Round 2

So, I have this friend. He's a missionary, but he has also been adopted into my family. So that makes him a brother, I guess. 

Anywho, like all missionaries do, he got transferred, so we said goodbye like ten times, and took a ton of pictures. Could I use anymore commas in the previous sentence? I don't think so.

We are really awkward, and we like it. 

I'm pretty sure he is the coolest. 

Loving Life

Here comes the picture overload.

My adventures started out with a crazy hard pioneer trek. I survived. Thank goodness.

I then packed my bags for the second  time in a week and headed to EFY. Probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. I've made so many friends with people from all across the world.

Then I packed my bags yet again and made my way across the north west, and ended up at BYU, where I played basketball for the week.

EFY

 The campus of UPS looks like Hogwarts; therefore, we were know as EFY Hogwarts.

This is Holland. She wins best roommate ever award.

We paint like we are five. Its normal.

Meet Luke. He's the best.

Nick (aka Daddy) with all the girls.

Me and the Guys. I love them all so much.

Basketball Camp

The Jamba collection. 

This shaved Ice was bigger than my face and was so tasty.

Team name: Cavemen

Number One! Camp Champ two years in a row!

I met so many new people and fell in love, but not IN love, with every single one of them. I miss each of them so much, and cannot wait for the little family reunions that we have already started to plan, even though its only been a week.

I'm Wearing a TON of clothes, and Still Freezing

Here you go. You're going to know me better than half the people I know.

25 Things About Me

1. I LOVE the rain. I love the smell, I love the way it feels running down your face, I love puddle jumping, I love rain boots, I love the thoughts of kissing in the rain...

2. If I take a nap during the day I am up until at least 1:00, maybe 2:00. It doesn't matter if it is a 10 minute power nap or two hours long, I just don't sleep. But that doesn't stop me from taking naps.

3. I plan on traveling the world. I love learning about other cultures and the way other people live. That's probably why I plan to live in Mexico and somewhere in Europe, and like three other foreign countries. 

4. If you told me to jump off a bridge, I probably would. It takes a lot for me to really truly trust people. It may not show on the outside, but inside it could be a completely different story. That doesn't make mush sense. 

5. I often randomly yell "fun fact of the day" and then proceed to tell the whole world one random thing. 

Fun fact of the day: hippos milk is pink. It's true. I looked it up. 

6. In the last forever, I've only really truly liked guys with names that start with letters that are in the second half of the alphabet. It's weird. Maybe a sort of sexal  selection, but probably not. Which leads me to my next "fact."

7. I'm a huge ap bio nerd. I don't even like the class half the time, but at the most random times I remember the most irrelevent things and tell the people around me all about it. One time in weights I walked a girl through the whole fermentation process for the whole hour. 

8. I don't like pizza. It makes your hands smell funny and don't say to just wash them because it doesn't work. The smell lingers and it makes me want to die. 

9. I love letters so much. If you send me a letter, we can be best friends. 

10. My favorite class is my advanced weights class. I'm one of the three girls that wakes up at six to go work out. The boys are so great and most of them are even real gentlemen. They are pretty protective, but they treat me like one of the guys. Girls, if you can find a guy like that, keep him around. They are the best and don't pop up too often.  

11. Painting is one of my favorite things to do. Seriously. Blasting music with a paint brush in hand is the best feeling in the world. It doesn't get much better than that. 

12. I might seem like a loud, simple person, but once you get to know me, I'm quiet and a lot more complex than I might have seemed when you first met me.

13. The first time I got my heart broke was this summer. I thought I was over it two minutes after I wrapped my brim around what was going on, but I really wasn't. Even now, it still stings. My hearts a pretty hard thing to figure out. That's something I'm still working on. 

14. When I was 13 my dad was diagnosed with a cist in his brain, which is like a tumor. That's probably the pivotal moment in my life. I haven't been the same since then. My life is completely different. I decided that I wanted to be happy and I wanted to make something out if my life. I wanted to make other people feel good about themselves and let them know that they are wonderful no matter what anyone has said about them in the past. 

15. Love scares the heck out of me. 

(See 13)

16. I find muscle spasms fascinating. In all actuality, anything to do with muscles is so interesting. 

17. I've never been kissed. I take great pride in being part of the VLC (virgin lip club). 

18. I dream about finding true love, but the more my heartbreaks, the less I believe in love. 

19. One of my greatest aspersions is to be able to fluently speak Spanish. I love the language so much. Sometimes I pretend that I can. 

20. I do my deep thinking after ten o'clock at night. I don't know what about late nights makes my brain transfer into wise mode, but sometime, believe it or not, it does. I let my gaurd down, and become completely vulnerable. After ten I'd be willing to share just about anything about myself with just about anyone. 

21. My best friend lives on the other side of the state and I miss her so much. Right now I need her to come tell me that everything is going to be okay. She is so supportive and always knows exactly how to help me. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Joey in my life.  

22. I'm really good at pushing people away. I guess I'm scared of people getting close to me. Its like as soon as you know the real me, I kick you out. I don't mean to, and I really wish that I didn't but it happens and I don't know how to make everything better again. 

23. I have four brothers and I love them all so much. I couldn't have made it this far without them. I don't think that I would have a purpose, or know why I am here if it weren't  for them. They tell me that nothing is wrong with me, and that I am beautiful. Sure the way they say that comes in various forms, like punching or tackling or any sort of roughness, but they are the best. They are the ones that put me back together. 

24. I am a member of the Church if Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The gospel and my savior are the reasons that I am happy. The gospel of Jesus Christ is amazing and can heal any broken heart. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior so much. They know me better than anyone else. They love me, for my imperfect self and they love you as well.  

25. This post has taken me nearly seven months to write. Mostly just because I have put it off for that long. Procrastination at it's finest.   

You Are Loved

Its almost midnight and I'm still awake. This is a summer record. 

Most nights I'm in bed by ten.

That was wishful thinking.

Anyways,

I'm not here to tell you what time I normally go to bed.

I actually don't really know why I'm here writing this. I think it's mostly because my heart is so full and I'm to lazy to write all my feelings in my journal tonight. 

My thoughts  are mostly centered around my Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. 

At this point, I have no idea what I would do, or be, without them.

So I'll break it down into three categories.

1. Heavenly Father Answers Prayers

Although sometimes we don't get the answer we want, or think we need, he always answers. 

No Matter What. 

For me this has been looking for someone to always rely on. 

As I've gone through some hard trials this last week, He has been the only one who has been there for me no matter the time, or the circumstance. 

I find myself constantly falling to my knees, or uttering a silent prayer in my heart. 

I've come to look forward to those few minutes each morning and night when we have a conversation, and I cant live without those few precious moments each day.

2. His Gospel is So Good

Without His marvelous Gospel, I know that I would not even be anywhere close to the person I am today. Because I know myself, I know that I would be so lost in this world full of corruption. 

His gospel is the reason WHY I am who I choose to be. 

His gospel allows for me and you and all the people who live in this world to make mistakes, and still be able to return to lived with Him again. 

Because of Christ's atonement, I have hope. I know that regardless of the mistakes I make, that if I am willing to repent of my sins and humble myself, he will welcome me back with arms wide open. 

But the beauty of this atonement is that, He will never leave you when you are struggling to make the right choice or to return back to the path he has set out for us. He is always there for you, if you will just reach out and grad his hand that he graciously offers. 

3. We Are Loved More Than We Can Understand

We are God's children, and He loves us more than is humanly possible to understand.

His only wish is that all of His children will return to home to Him, and guess what. 

He will do everything that He can to make that happen. 

He loves us. 

That's why He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to come to Earth and suffer for each one of our sins. That is why He let His Son come to Earth and be killed for the benefit of all His other children. 

But His love doesn't stop there. 

His love was passed to His Son, Jesus Christ. 

Christ endured all the persecution and pain happen, because He knew that if He didn't His Fathers plan wouldn't be carried out and The rest of His siblings (that's us), would have no way to return home again. 

Ultimately, We are loved so much. 

We are loved by our Father in Heaven, as well by His Son. 

I know that Heavenly Father hears ans answers our prayers, even though it may not be the answer we want, and it may not come exactly when we want it, His answer does come. 

I know that He is merciful and seeks to find His lost sheep. He want's all to return to Him. 

I know that He loves us so He sent His Son to come and atone for our sins. 

Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ are so good.

They are always there, and all we have to do is ask. Ask for their help, for their assistance, and they will be there. 

We don't have to walk this life alone. 

Reach out.

Grab His hand

You are never alone.

You are loved.

Don't you ever forget that.

Set Me Free

Letting go is hard, but I'm ready for it.

Hello. My name is Kelley.

Although things might not be going the way I wish they were, 

I am happy.

I'm not where i planned to be in life, not even close. But I didn't know what I know now when, I planned out my life. 

I'm learning to live in pure chaos. 

It's way more fun. 

Life has thrown a lot of challenges at me, some being incredible hard, others being extremely easy; however, I've learned important lessons from each one of my trials. 

It's hard to see the light sometimes, but if you don't keep going, you'll never reach that light.

I'm learning. Life is tough, but I'm tougher.