I'm Wearing a TON of clothes, and Still Freezing

Here you go. You're going to know me better than half the people I know.

25 Things About Me

1. I LOVE the rain. I love the smell, I love the way it feels running down your face, I love puddle jumping, I love rain boots, I love the thoughts of kissing in the rain...

2. If I take a nap during the day I am up until at least 1:00, maybe 2:00. It doesn't matter if it is a 10 minute power nap or two hours long, I just don't sleep. But that doesn't stop me from taking naps.

3. I plan on traveling the world. I love learning about other cultures and the way other people live. That's probably why I plan to live in Mexico and somewhere in Europe, and like three other foreign countries. 

4. If you told me to jump off a bridge, I probably would. It takes a lot for me to really truly trust people. It may not show on the outside, but inside it could be a completely different story. That doesn't make mush sense. 

5. I often randomly yell "fun fact of the day" and then proceed to tell the whole world one random thing. 

Fun fact of the day: hippos milk is pink. It's true. I looked it up. 

6. In the last forever, I've only really truly liked guys with names that start with letters that are in the second half of the alphabet. It's weird. Maybe a sort of sexal  selection, but probably not. Which leads me to my next "fact."

7. I'm a huge ap bio nerd. I don't even like the class half the time, but at the most random times I remember the most irrelevent things and tell the people around me all about it. One time in weights I walked a girl through the whole fermentation process for the whole hour. 

8. I don't like pizza. It makes your hands smell funny and don't say to just wash them because it doesn't work. The smell lingers and it makes me want to die. 

9. I love letters so much. If you send me a letter, we can be best friends. 

10. My favorite class is my advanced weights class. I'm one of the three girls that wakes up at six to go work out. The boys are so great and most of them are even real gentlemen. They are pretty protective, but they treat me like one of the guys. Girls, if you can find a guy like that, keep him around. They are the best and don't pop up too often.  

11. Painting is one of my favorite things to do. Seriously. Blasting music with a paint brush in hand is the best feeling in the world. It doesn't get much better than that. 

12. I might seem like a loud, simple person, but once you get to know me, I'm quiet and a lot more complex than I might have seemed when you first met me.

13. The first time I got my heart broke was this summer. I thought I was over it two minutes after I wrapped my brim around what was going on, but I really wasn't. Even now, it still stings. My hearts a pretty hard thing to figure out. That's something I'm still working on. 

14. When I was 13 my dad was diagnosed with a cist in his brain, which is like a tumor. That's probably the pivotal moment in my life. I haven't been the same since then. My life is completely different. I decided that I wanted to be happy and I wanted to make something out if my life. I wanted to make other people feel good about themselves and let them know that they are wonderful no matter what anyone has said about them in the past. 

15. Love scares the heck out of me. 

(See 13)

16. I find muscle spasms fascinating. In all actuality, anything to do with muscles is so interesting. 

17. I've never been kissed. I take great pride in being part of the VLC (virgin lip club). 

18. I dream about finding true love, but the more my heartbreaks, the less I believe in love. 

19. One of my greatest aspersions is to be able to fluently speak Spanish. I love the language so much. Sometimes I pretend that I can. 

20. I do my deep thinking after ten o'clock at night. I don't know what about late nights makes my brain transfer into wise mode, but sometime, believe it or not, it does. I let my gaurd down, and become completely vulnerable. After ten I'd be willing to share just about anything about myself with just about anyone. 

21. My best friend lives on the other side of the state and I miss her so much. Right now I need her to come tell me that everything is going to be okay. She is so supportive and always knows exactly how to help me. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Joey in my life.  

22. I'm really good at pushing people away. I guess I'm scared of people getting close to me. Its like as soon as you know the real me, I kick you out. I don't mean to, and I really wish that I didn't but it happens and I don't know how to make everything better again. 

23. I have four brothers and I love them all so much. I couldn't have made it this far without them. I don't think that I would have a purpose, or know why I am here if it weren't  for them. They tell me that nothing is wrong with me, and that I am beautiful. Sure the way they say that comes in various forms, like punching or tackling or any sort of roughness, but they are the best. They are the ones that put me back together. 

24. I am a member of the Church if Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The gospel and my savior are the reasons that I am happy. The gospel of Jesus Christ is amazing and can heal any broken heart. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior so much. They know me better than anyone else. They love me, for my imperfect self and they love you as well.  

25. This post has taken me nearly seven months to write. Mostly just because I have put it off for that long. Procrastination at it's finest.   

You Are Loved

Its almost midnight and I'm still awake. This is a summer record. 

Most nights I'm in bed by ten.

That was wishful thinking.

Anyways,

I'm not here to tell you what time I normally go to bed.

I actually don't really know why I'm here writing this. I think it's mostly because my heart is so full and I'm to lazy to write all my feelings in my journal tonight. 

My thoughts  are mostly centered around my Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. 

At this point, I have no idea what I would do, or be, without them.

So I'll break it down into three categories.

1. Heavenly Father Answers Prayers

Although sometimes we don't get the answer we want, or think we need, he always answers. 

No Matter What. 

For me this has been looking for someone to always rely on. 

As I've gone through some hard trials this last week, He has been the only one who has been there for me no matter the time, or the circumstance. 

I find myself constantly falling to my knees, or uttering a silent prayer in my heart. 

I've come to look forward to those few minutes each morning and night when we have a conversation, and I cant live without those few precious moments each day.

2. His Gospel is So Good

Without His marvelous Gospel, I know that I would not even be anywhere close to the person I am today. Because I know myself, I know that I would be so lost in this world full of corruption. 

His gospel is the reason WHY I am who I choose to be. 

His gospel allows for me and you and all the people who live in this world to make mistakes, and still be able to return to lived with Him again. 

Because of Christ's atonement, I have hope. I know that regardless of the mistakes I make, that if I am willing to repent of my sins and humble myself, he will welcome me back with arms wide open. 

But the beauty of this atonement is that, He will never leave you when you are struggling to make the right choice or to return back to the path he has set out for us. He is always there for you, if you will just reach out and grad his hand that he graciously offers. 

3. We Are Loved More Than We Can Understand

We are God's children, and He loves us more than is humanly possible to understand.

His only wish is that all of His children will return to home to Him, and guess what. 

He will do everything that He can to make that happen. 

He loves us. 

That's why He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to come to Earth and suffer for each one of our sins. That is why He let His Son come to Earth and be killed for the benefit of all His other children. 

But His love doesn't stop there. 

His love was passed to His Son, Jesus Christ. 

Christ endured all the persecution and pain happen, because He knew that if He didn't His Fathers plan wouldn't be carried out and The rest of His siblings (that's us), would have no way to return home again. 

Ultimately, We are loved so much. 

We are loved by our Father in Heaven, as well by His Son. 

I know that Heavenly Father hears ans answers our prayers, even though it may not be the answer we want, and it may not come exactly when we want it, His answer does come. 

I know that He is merciful and seeks to find His lost sheep. He want's all to return to Him. 

I know that He loves us so He sent His Son to come and atone for our sins. 

Heavenly Father, and Jesus Christ are so good.

They are always there, and all we have to do is ask. Ask for their help, for their assistance, and they will be there. 

We don't have to walk this life alone. 

Reach out.

Grab His hand

You are never alone.

You are loved.

Don't you ever forget that.

Set Me Free

Letting go is hard, but I'm ready for it.

Hello. My name is Kelley.

Although things might not be going the way I wish they were, 

I am happy.

I'm not where i planned to be in life, not even close. But I didn't know what I know now when, I planned out my life. 

I'm learning to live in pure chaos. 

It's way more fun. 

Life has thrown a lot of challenges at me, some being incredible hard, others being extremely easy; however, I've learned important lessons from each one of my trials. 

It's hard to see the light sometimes, but if you don't keep going, you'll never reach that light.

I'm learning. Life is tough, but I'm tougher.

Just Sitting

Is it possible to just sit?

Thoughts jumble in my head.

I'm not use to this.

Three years ago, I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

So often  moments like these are taken for granted.

Change, your smile, trials, your voice, the gospel, work, dreams, words.

The list could go on forever.

Ultimately it comes down to this:

the two people I have come to love and trust most are a thousand miles, or maybe two thousand miles, away.

It's rough, but I'm making it through.

3, 2, 1, Action

I started work today! I officially have like five boyfriends now. If you knew what it was like to work with the kids you'd understand. I seriously love them all to death.

This morning I was a little scared, nervous, feeling inadequate, freaked out, but it ended up not being that bad. I'm pretty sure my kids are the cutest in the whole camp. Not going to lie.

Today I got to be a ride along, simply meaning that I got to ride on the van with seven kids and two others staff members, one being the driver and the other having a one on one. So that means that I was thrown into the middle of a bus surrounded by crazy boys and the sweetest little girl. I was  holding five different conversations, playing two different games and trying to talk to the driver all at the same time. And then, my "best friend" got on the van. Boy do I love that kid. He is... I don't even think words can describe him. He calls me Kelly Clarkson and I call him Shane Harper.
You can probably guess who I ended up eating lunch with. Yup, my bestest friend. At that point I had met his friend and they were planting moves on me like no other. This is where the whole you have to understand these boys to understand what's going on here. These boy's counselor just happened to be my really good friend Yuriy, so we ate lunch together. All of a sudden I see these crazy boys talking to Yuriy and they are all looking at me and laughing so hard that they can barely get their words out, so naturally I'm thinking okay sweet, these boys are planning something not to great and I'm going to be the victim.
I was so right. Out of no where James yells at Yuriy to move and so he comes and sits by me, which was totally fine, and then James comes over to Yuriy and was like "it's the perfect time to plant a move on her.  At this point James has Yuriy's arm practically around me. So being the gentleman Yuriy is, he escapes the move and tells James and Shane to watch this. He holds up both of his fists and indicates a double fist bump. That's now know as "the move."
We had some pretty great adventures at the pool too. It ranged from my main man chasing me around the little pool, to Shane and James trying to dunk me, or jumping off the side of the pool trying to see who could get the closest to landing on me, James won that one, he landed right on my back!
Lets just say I have the best job in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

On a completely different note, my town is on fire in more than one place. From my house you can see the flames on the "mountain."
We had a couple pretty good lightning bolts strike today and it's been a while since we've had a source of water fall from the sky.
The point I'm trying to make is that even though fires are bad and sketchy, they make for some really cool pictures.

The smoke clouds are the dark clouds in the very back.

 

 

I have no idea what this fire is from, but the smoke cloud tripled its size within twenty minutes of this picture.



This was the fire you could see the flames from my house. It was pretty intense.

News! News! News!

Best day of my life.

SKY.

IS.

COMING.

HOME.

ON.
FRIDAY.

 

Honestly, I'm not sure if I could make it through this week without her.

 

Nope, We Are Not Going to Say "It"

A wise boy once said:

"Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting."

-Peter Pan

Trapped

You leave me in nine days. I took for granted the time we had together. Now that there is not much left, I want it all back. Three months seemed like a long time when you got here, it flew by. 

Girls dream for a guy like you to come along. I was lucky enough to have you.

Don't forget me. 

August couldn't come quick enough. 

I already miss you, us, the way you make the butterflies in my stomach come alive, and the smile you spread across my face.

I don't know how I am going to survive this summer, alone. 

You leaving helps our relationship grow, but at this point all I can see is the sadness that comes with saying goodbye.

You'll be back, you've promised. You keep your promises. I know you do. 

I'm trapped. 

Sitting here, thinking. Thinking of you. Thinking of me. Thinking of us. 

I don't imagine I'll get much sleep tonight. 

Goodbye, my almost lover.

Make A Difference

I'm Going There Someday

Just recently I was told by a man that is not scared to tell me what I need to hear, or let things slide, that in three in a half years I would be engaged to be married. I almost died. Not out of excitement, but rather fear of him being right.  Although I love love, and the thought of being in love, there is no way that in three and a half years, this girl, being nineteen then, will be ready to be somebody's cute little wifey. No way I tell you.

I haven't let that topic escape, it's been on my mind nonstop for the last three days. So rather than let the though fear me, I've decided to embrace it, even though it is not likely. So if I do get married when I'm nineteen feel free to tell me I told you so.

It'd be silly for me to say that I haven't found that boy that makes a smile spread across my face just thinking about him. Or the one where I can just be my crazy self with. Or the one who gives me butterflies when I see his face. The boy who would hold me close and tell me everything is going to be okay, when I am certain it is not. The one who makes me feel like I am loved. The one whom I love.

Cow Tongue? I Guess It's Pretty Good

I went out on a limb today. I toured Fiesta Foods, while speaking the language that seems to flow right off my tongue. I toured it with my best friend. We searched high and low for Bueno Bars, Marias and Pan Dulce. We found it all, and gained like twenty pounds each. I tried  new food, like papaya, which tastes like throw up, and we were about to eat a lengua de carne taco, a cow tongue taco, but the line got super long. Trust me, it looked amazing and I'm being serious. We seem to go on adventures like this quite frequently. We are partners in crime. We are constantly cracking jokes. We understand completely what each other is going through because we have to deal with the same problems. It's so great! She's so great!

                                        We don't like to take good picture, it just doesn't work.

Boring, Boring, Boring

Its been so long since I last wrote. So many crazy things have happened lately that I don't even know where to start. I guess that means that this is going to be a lame update post, but bear with me, maybe it will lead to something really great.

 Lets start off with... My best friend

She has a boy friend. I don't know how I feel about that. I'm just going to be the AWKWARD third wheel for the rest of forever, its a good thing I'm good at that. It's going to be okay though because im going to be gone all summer so that gives them time to break up figure things out and not invite me to third wheel it. Although im good at it, I may or may not enjoy it.

Lets talk about my summer. I'm only free for a week or so in August, so if you want to chill, make plans now. But seriously I'm at camps and in Utah and all over the place in Washington and Oregon and Utah.

Gotta love the North West. Oh and .....

I GOT A JOB!!!!! That's the main reason why I'm not going to be "home" as much as I thought I would. This job is going to take every little piece of energy out of me, so I dont plan on doing anything for the four weeks that I am working, but it is going to be so great! I cannot wait till next week when I start.

My group of friends has changed over the last month. I have new best friends who I text nonstop and hang out with almost daily. We seem to have the best of times together. It's wonderful.

Typical me... There is a boy. He's at my house at least three times a week. He's moving back to Utah in two weeks. This boy isn't just a plain old crush. It's more like my head and my heart are at war. Im fighting, and its worth it, even though it is scary and stressful and I'd rather not be fighting right now. I'm not willing to let go. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it till August till I see him again. Skype? Maybe, or maybe when Im in his neck of the woods, I'll just go see him. Who know. All I know is it it real and I am falling.

The only downside to this is that it is finals week and the stress levels are flying. I have at least three super hard finals. Like study your guts out hard, like the smartest kind in the class thought it was hard. The last week of school was suppose to be fun, but that took a whole new meaning when i got to high school.

ITS THE LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL! I cannot wait to kick off my crazy summer.

My new best friend is going to be in Texas all summer. I dont know how I am going to survive without her. like really, what am i going to do?

I decided that I wanted to live in Cali and be a painter and a teacher. That would be the life! I've taken on a new skill. I paint, and I love it.

Cam the Man graduated on Friday. Do you know how crazy that is. My older brother, who I love, most of the time, is a graduate. I dont know what I will do without him next year. He really is the best.

This week started off great, lets hope it stays like this.

Oh and I wrote my 101 things to do this summer list. I'll update it here.