Don't Fall For Me

"Don't fall for me, okay?" The words are running through my mind, how do I say this. I don't want to  hurt you, I'm still trying to figure out what I want in life, but I know you are not it.

 I'm scared to break your heart, but the  walls have been put up, and you are outside of them. So much has happened and I just cant handle it. 

The words have been said. Now its up to you. 

I'm dangerous, stay away. Run. Put your heart in a cage, and run. 

Beginning of the End

Today marks the first day of the last week of summer. I cant believe it. Summer has treated me so well, and I'm sad to see it go; however, this kid  is off to bigger and better things. 

These past few months have been amazing an I couldn't do them justice in anyway, but I do have a few pictures to share.

(P.S This song is perfect for how I am feeling right now.)

Partners and Pals was exactly what I needed this summer. I made so many new friends and feel in love with all of  the kids. I don't think words can even begin to explain the wonderful, crazy, silly, and scary moments that I experienced with these kids this summer. I wouldn't trade it for anything, ever.

This summer was incredible and I have about a gazillion pictures that I want to share, but instead I threw together a slop slop photo collage. The pictures range from saying goodbye to Elder Adling to the Train concert I went and saw last week (I'll fill you in on that one later, so amazing!)   

 This is Quincy. He stole my heart. I love this kid, probably because he is so naughty and naughty children are my favorite, as long as they don't belong to me. We took this picture the last day of camp. Much to my surprise this little seven year old tackled me to the  ground and then gave me a huge hug. I'm sure going to miss my Q-Man!

I'm saving all the stories from this concert for later. It was so amazing.

 My cousins and I ventured to the Oregon Zoo on Tuesday. It was packed and so much fun. The elephants and giraffes were my favorite. I was probably more excited to go to the zoo than the five year old I went with. I loved it.

His name is Mr. Pray-Mantis, and he lives on my house and we are bestest friends. 

Who doesn't want a best friend who is a bug?

One Week!

You're birthday is in ONE WEEK. 

I miss you a whole ton, you're my missionary brother. I don't even care that we have different genes, or that we don"t have the same parents. You're my brother and that is that. 

I'm trying to figure out a cute package idea, but it's not working very well. 

NOTE: This is a call for help, does anyone have cute birthday package ideas for a missionary, its crunch time, and I am desperate!

This Weekend... BumBumBum

I'm going to flat out honest today, no sugar coating. This weekend SUCKED! Why might this weekend have been so bad, you may ask. Let me tell you.
HE IS ENGAGED!
Yup you read that right. My little hearty heart was broken for approximately two minutes. That's all. Weird, right. Normally super emotional teenage girls like myself (which teenage girl isn't full of raging hormones making her emotional?) would be mourning over a certain boy, who she gave her heart to.


On a different note, these last two days have been the happiest days of my life. I don't even know why! I've been all smiles. My heart is free and it feels so good.
As of right now I'm eating a whole bag of pizza flavored goldfish, which may I add aren't even good, while watching missionaries  open their call. Life doesn't get much better than this.

I'm Having a Bipolar Sort of Week

I got the news yesterday. You're coming back, two weeks early. I wanted nothing to do with you when I first found out, practically hated you for it.   I secretly hoped that you wouldn't come to see my family or, me. I tried to find a way to avoid you as  much as possible. 

Fear floats to the top of my heart. I fear that you moved on, I fear saying goodbye again, even though it will only be for two weeks. The last goodbye we said almost killed me, I cant handle it again.

Life just got good. I don't want anything to ruin that. I like you, I like you a lot, but I cant handle this.

HECK! Who am I kidding, I'm freaking excited to see your face. 

Tomorrow couldn't come sooner.

Sun and Moon

Perched atop her bike, riding through the back roads, a young aspiring photographer noticed the distant look that captured the distant moon. 

Alone, she sat. 

"Moon," she yelled, "why does my heart feel like this? I don't understand." 

Moon peered down at her. 

Crisscross-applesauce, she sat it the perfectly cut, slightly wet grass. 

Still Moon looked at her.  

"Moon! Stop looking at me, and help me. Help me understand!" 

Moon said nothing. 

"My heart aches Moon. I miss him. I miss the way things were when he was around. The distance is getting to me and I just can't handle it anymore. He is so far away. He changed me, Moon. He tore down all the walls that once built themselves inside my heart. He tore down what no one else could. I need him. My heart aches for him. Moon, I think I love him, but the distance makes it impossible."

Moon gently raised his voice

 "Young one, its hard. Each night I chase my one and only love, Sun. I glide through the sky so, we can spend those few minutes spread in different corners the sky, together. She sits miles and miles away. I travel around the world, anxiously awaiting the moment when the light she generously gives to the world, can be seen by my eyes."

"But Moon, how do you make it through the day, doesn't your heart long to see Sun?" the girl quietly said.

"Of course, everyday and every night my heart desires to share the sky with Sun. When I think I can no longer endure to the moment when I see her, I think. I think of all the beautiful things she gets to see. Even though she is on the other side of the world, I know that eventually, we will be together again. Sometimes I wait weeks, even months to see her, but I always see her."

 "Moon, I think I understand. When I miss my love, and my heart aches to be near him, if I just think of all the things he is learning and getting to experiance, it will pass the days away, and make the sting of being away less painful. I just have to remember that because of the love we share, we will always see each other." 

Moon smiled down.

So Close Yet, So Far Away

Eighteen Miles.

That's all.

We were eighteen miles away from each other.

I longed for the gentle touch of your hand. 

The sweet smile you greet me with was fresh in my memory.

On the floor laughing. Crying our eyes out. Serious talks. Not so serious talks. 

Beautiful memories. 

Your face was eighteen miles away. Eighteen short miles!

Why? 

I need you. 

We were so close but, so far away.

1.2 months. 39 days. 936 hours. 3369600 seconds.

The day I have been waiting for since you left. 

It's been exactly one month today. 

Lets be honest, it's been the longest month of my life. 

Everyday I dream of seeing you again for the first time. I cant wait.

It's slowly killing me inside. 

I miss you so much, it's really sad. 

How is it even possible to feel like this? I don't understand. 

All I know is that when I see you again, everything is going to be okay. 

The time is so short. 

You are so close,

but still 936 hours away.