What Would I Have Done?
Thoughts lingered in my mind. Being given this prompt twelve hours ago surely it wouldn’t be the only thing on my mind, but all I could think about is what I would have done. Let me explain, you are sitting by the bedside of a man who is dying. He has killed people just like you and he is asking you for forgiveness. What would you do? Would you forgive him or would you not?
To start off, what is your personal definition of forgiveness? Is it saying sorry and being done after that, or is it something much more? I personally believe that forgiveness is so much more. As a child I wasn’t very pleasant to be around. I would beat up on my little brother and then my Mom would insist that I tell him sorry. I would but he would always say “sorry isn’t good enough.”This use to make me so angry, but I never realized that my younger brother was teaching me a lesson. That brother of mine was right; forgiveness is so much more that just saying that you are sorry. Forgiveness in my opinion is saying sorry and then trying to gain trust back from the person you hurt and then turning your wrong into a right. You should have to work much harder than just asking a question. So you may ask “Kelley, what would you have done if you were in Simon’s shoes?” Honest to goodness I would have been completely and utterly confused about what I should do. I mean this man has killed people just like me, why should I forgive him, but deep down in my heart I would know that forgiving him would be the right thing to do. Thinking about it, I would be ashamed if I didn’t.
I think that it is also important to define forgiveness in the world’s terms. I think the world believes that forgiveness is just saying sorry. I don’t think that the world has a very high standard for forgiveness. A band called The Weepies has a song called “Please Speak Well of Me.” The last verse says “I would say that I’m sorry if it would do any good…” I think that they grasp what I am trying to say perfectly; just saying sorry doesn’t do any good. In personal experience you get lucky if someone asks for forgiveness or if you are forgiven. My Mother says” I don’t want you to be sorry; the world already has enough sorry people in it.” I feel like people throw the words I’m sorry around just like they throw the words I love you around. Do these words have a meaning anymore? When someone says “I’m sorry” do they really mean it or do they say it because it is the right thing to do? For true forgiveness I think you need to be sincerely sorry first, but I guess the world has a different opinion.
Good ole’ Webster says that forgiveness means “the act of forgiving.” So what does he mean when he says “forgiving?” He means “to give up the wish to punish; not have hard feelings at or toward.” This means that forgiveness is not wanting to get back at someone for what they have done to you, it is simply letting go of whatever has happened. Mahatma Gandhi says “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Adding to that I think asking for forgiveness is also an attribute of the strong. There are two sides of forgiveness, being the forgiver and being the forgiven. Both sides are not very enjoyable, but both sides do bring you wisdom. Let’s say we are Karl, the dying man asking for forgiveness. How would you go about asking for it? If I were Karl I my heart would be aching for all the wrongs I had done. I understand his longing for forgiveness and his willingness to do anything he could to gain forgiveness. Telling his story would be tough, but I think that it was essential for his sorry to be sincere. I would do anything in my power to gain forgiveness from anyone, even if they are a stranger. Karl did the right thing by asking for forgiveness.
The world believes that forgiveness is just saying sorry. Webster says that it is “to give up the wish to punish.” I believe that forgiveness is being sincerely sorry and doing everything in your power to gain back the trust you lost make your wrong a right and then promising never to do anything like it ever again. If instead we were to say “I apologize” would it be more sincere or would it end up being used nonchalantly like I’m sorry is? Now think about this, if you were Simon how would you forgive? But what if you were Karl, would you use the term I’m sorry loosely or would you truly mean it? What would you have done?
This is the song that I quoted. Oh and by the way if you cried while reading the Sunflower it's okay because I did too.
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