Spring Break

It is finally hear. I have been waiting for this week since two weeks after school started. And how does spring break start? With RAIN!!! What better way is there to start the happiest week of my life. Well friends, happy week and happy General Conference watching.

P.S Wasn't The Hunger Games so amazing. And.... Isn't he so HANDSOME?
I know it's  not like me to crush on celebrities but he is the only exception. WOW way to quote Paramore. Unintentional I promise.

 



Who wouldn't think he is attractive, and props to him for not being afraid to take goofy pictures.

I'm Back!

These last two weeks have been crazy. First off I went to Wicked and absolutely loved every second of it. This week I went to Utah and visited my amazing sister. We may or may not have met so pretty famous people. I love Utah.
The first famous person we met was Elaine S. Dalton. The story behind this one is that we went  to Salt Lake to see Music and the Spoken Word and she was there and she invited all the young women to come and meet her. I got my picture with her and I got to hug her. It felt like the spirit that she had just leaped from her body into mine. It was such a neat experience.
The second famous person we met was John from Kid History.This is a great story. We were at Winco checking out and this huge group of kids got in line behind us, but they were two people behind us. I was  just blankly staring at this huge crowd of children. My sister leaned over to me and said " Kelley, don't stare." I was like alright whatever and so I started to walk and I ended up running into the guy checking out. See you have to know that my sister had seen Johns face and I had not. I turned around because my sister was laughing and then I saw him. I said "Oh my gosh" under my breath loud enough for my sister to hear and she was like "ya, I know." Let me just tell you now, he is a little more scruffier in real life. I wish that one of us would have quoted him or something but the only one who said anything was my mom and she asked him if she could come to his house to eat the candy they were buying, and he said it was for Conference. My sister was going to say " don't punch... our car" but she didn't.  That was the coolest experience that I have ever had in Utah.

What Would You Have Done: The Real Deal

                                                What Would I Have Done?

            Thoughts lingered in my mind. Being given this prompt twelve hours ago surely it wouldn’t be the only thing on my mind, but all I could think about is what I would have done. Let me explain, you are sitting by the bedside of a man who is dying. He has killed people just like you and he is asking you for forgiveness. What would you do? Would you forgive him or would you not?

            To start off, what is your personal definition of forgiveness? Is it saying sorry and being done after that, or is it something much more? I personally believe that forgiveness is so much more. As a child I wasn’t very pleasant to be around. I would beat up on my little brother and then my Mom would insist that I tell him sorry. I would but he would always say “sorry isn’t good enough.”This use to make me so angry, but I never realized that my younger brother was teaching me a lesson. That brother of mine was right; forgiveness is so much more that just saying that you are sorry. Forgiveness in my opinion is saying sorry and then trying to gain trust back from the person you hurt and then turning your wrong into a right. You should have to work much harder than just asking a question. So you may ask “Kelley, what would you have done if you were in Simon’s shoes?” Honest to goodness I would have been completely and utterly confused about what I should do. I mean this man has killed people just like me, why should I forgive him, but deep down in my heart I would know that forgiving him would be the right thing to do. Thinking about it, I would be ashamed if I didn’t.

            I think that it is also important to define forgiveness in the world’s terms. I think the world believes that forgiveness is just saying sorry. I don’t think that the world has a very high standard for forgiveness. A band called The Weepies has a song called “Please Speak Well of Me.” The last verse says “I would say that I’m sorry if it would do any good…” I think that they grasp what I am trying to say perfectly; just saying sorry doesn’t do any good. In personal experience you get lucky if someone asks for forgiveness or if you are forgiven. My Mother says” I don’t want you to be sorry; the world already has enough sorry people in it.” I feel like people throw the words I’m sorry around just like they throw the words I love you around. Do these words have a meaning anymore? When someone says “I’m sorry” do they really mean it or do they say it because it is the right thing to do? For true forgiveness I think you need to be sincerely sorry first, but I guess the world has a different opinion.

            Good ole’ Webster says that forgiveness means “the act of forgiving.” So what does he mean when he says “forgiving?” He means “to give up the wish to punish; not have hard feelings at or toward.” This means that forgiveness is not wanting to get back at someone for what they have done to you, it is simply letting go of whatever has happened. Mahatma Gandhi says “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Adding to that I think asking for forgiveness is also an attribute of the strong. There are two sides of forgiveness, being the forgiver and being the forgiven. Both sides are not very enjoyable, but both sides do bring you wisdom. Let’s say we are Karl, the dying man asking for forgiveness. How would you go about asking for it? If I were Karl I my heart would be aching for all the wrongs I had done. I understand his longing for forgiveness and his willingness to do anything he could to gain forgiveness. Telling his story would be tough, but I think that it was essential for his sorry to be sincere. I would do anything in my power to gain forgiveness from anyone, even if they are a stranger. Karl did the right thing by asking for forgiveness.

            The world believes that forgiveness is just saying sorry. Webster says that it is “to give up the wish to punish.” I believe that forgiveness is being sincerely sorry and doing everything in your power to gain back the trust you lost make your wrong a right and then promising never to do anything like it ever again. If instead we were to say “I apologize” would it be more sincere or would it end up being used nonchalantly like I’m sorry is? Now think about this, if you were Simon how would you forgive? But what if you were Karl, would you use the term I’m sorry loosely or would you truly mean it? What would you have done?

This is the song that I quoted. Oh and by the way if you cried while reading the Sunflower it's okay because I did too.

What Would You Have Done: Back Up Knowledge

Here is the inspiration for my essay.


 In The Sunflower, Simon Wiesenthal writes of an incident that occurred during the time he was a concentration camp inmate. One day, he and his work detail were sent to clean medical waste at a converted army hospital for wounded German soldiers. On the way, "Our column suddenly came to a halt at a crossroads. I could see nothing that might be holding us up but I noticed on the left of the street there was a military cemetery . . . and on each grave there was planted a sunflower . . . I stared spellbound . . . Suddenly I envied the dead soldiers. Each had a sunflower to connect him with the living world, and butterflies to visit his grave. For me there would be no sunflower. I would be buried in a mass grave, where corpses would be piled on top of me. No sunflower would ever bring light into my darkness, and no butterflies would dance above my dreadful tomb."

Simon's work group arrived at the hospital. As they worked, a nurse came up to Simon and asked, "Are you a Jew?" When he answered "Yes," she took him into the hospital building, to the bedside of Karl, a 21-year old dying Nazi soldier. Karl's head was completely covered in bandages, with openings only for his mouth, nose and ears. Karl wanted to tell Simon his story. He began,

"I know that at this moment thousands of men are dying. Death is everywhere. It is neither infrequent nor extraordinary. I am resigned to dying soon, but before that I want to talk about an experience which is torturing me. Otherwise I cannot die in peace . . . I must tell you of this horrible deed - tell you because . . . you are a Jew."

Karl talked about his childhood and described himself as a happy, dreamy child. His father was a Social Democrat and his mother brought Karl up as a Catholic. Karl joined the Hitler Youth and later volunteered for the SS. That was the last time his father spoke to him.

Karl went on to tell Simon about being sent to fight in Russia, and about coming, one day, to a village.

"In a large square we got out and looked around us. On the other side of the square there was a group of people under close guard . . . The word went through our group like wildfire: ‘They're Jews' . . . An order was given and we marched toward the huddled mass of Jews. There were a hundred and fifty of them or perhaps two hundred, including many children who stared at us with anxious eyes. A few were quietly crying. There were infants in their mothers' arms, but hardly any young men; mostly women and graybeards . . . A truck arrived with cans of petrol which we unloaded and took into a house . . . Then we began to drive the Jews into the house . . . Then another truck came up full of more Jews and they too were crammed into the house with the others. Then the door was locked and a machine gun was posted opposite . . . When we were told that everything was ready, we went back a few yards, and then received the command to remove safety pins from hand grenades and throw them through the windows of the house . . . Behind the windows of the second floor, I saw a man with a small child in his arms. His clothes were alight. By his side stood a woman, doubtless the mother of the child. With his free hand the man covered the child's eyes . . . then he jumped into the street. Seconds later the mother followed. Then from the other windows fell burning bodies . . . We shot . . . Oh God! I don't know how many tried to jump out of the windows but that one family I shall never forget - least of all the child." 

After that event, Karl's division moved on to the Crimea. One day, in the middle of a fight, Karl climbed out of his trench, and 

"In that moment I saw the burning family, the father with the child and behind them the mother - and they came to meet me. ‘No, I cannot shoot at them a second time.' The thought flashed through my mind . . . And then a shell exploded by my side. I lost consciousness . . . 

"It was a miracle that I was still alive - even now I am as good as dead . . . So I lie here waiting for death. The pains in my body are terrible, but worse still is my conscience . . . I cannot die . . . without coming clean . . . In the last hours of my life you are with me. I do not know who you are. I only know that you are a Jew and that is enough . . . In the long nights while I have been waiting for death, time and time again I have longed to talk about it to a Jew and beg forgiveness from him. Only I didn't know whether there were any Jews left . . . I know that what I am asking is almost too much for you, but without your answer I cannot die in peace."

Simon left the room without a word. When his group returned to the hospital the next day, the same nurse came to Simon and told him that Karl had died. 

Over the next years of the war, time and again, through all his suffering, Simon thought of Karl and wondered if he should have forgiven him. 

"Ought I to have forgiven him? Was my silence at the bedside of the dying Nazi right or wrong? This is a profound moral question . . . The crux of the matter is, of course, the question of forgiveness. Forgetting is something that time alone takes care of, but forgiveness is an act of volition . . ." 

Lets Make Him Famous

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

Alrighty, I am going to make an attempt at this.


Awkward:
- walking with your friends who are totally in love and being the third wheel
- the number of times it took me to spell awkward right, my fingers just aren't working tonight
- the fact that sometimes my science teacher is just a LITTLE flirtatious, really man you're like 20 years older than me, I don't think it's going to work out
- being the bench warmer during a church ball game, I didn't even know it was possible
- breaking someones heart, I feel bad, I really do
- your voice cracking while talking on the phone and then that conversation when you get asked a bazillion questions just so the person is absolutely sure you're not a thirteen year old boy. I'm sick, it happens
- waving at someone you thought you knew but when you look closer it's not, and then they wave back and give you that strange look like " didn't your  mother ever teach you not to wave at strangers?"
- getting checked out by a sixth grader, cant boys my age like me?
- the size of my ankle, I promise it's real and if you touch it I will kick you and I'm not kidding
- falling asleep during class and waking up to a big red implant of your watch on your face
Awesome:
- almost midnight runs to Walmart with your brother just to get some OJ and then coming home without it
-getting really angry and fantasizing about your future husband because it makes you feel better
- telling your best friend your plans for your future hubby and how you hope that on the weekends he will sit on the couch and "read" books with you
- Phillip Phillips, he makes my world spin
- riding in the car with the most wonderful person in the world, she makes me super happy
- the look my brother gave me as soon as Phil came on the screen
- drawing random pictures because I HATE drawing circles
- speaking Spanish and sounding like a Gringo, unfortunately I am not a native so I do indeed have an American accent
- buying old lady jeans and getting funny looks about it, what they're super comfy
- telling my Mother all about my plans for my future wedding, and then finding out that the wedding dress I am in love with is 4,000 dollars
- my mom offering to make my wedding dress


 Well guys how did I do, good I hope. Happy Thursday!

P.S

His other songs are just as amazing.